Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
