Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
