BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
