would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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