Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
