you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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