You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
