I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
