is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
So many bounce houses so little time
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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