just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
home. puking in laundry basket.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize