just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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