my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
