It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
