meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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