Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
