the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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