I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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