we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize