This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
