is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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