I wish I could teleport
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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