So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
