We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
