So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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