ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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