One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
