Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
What a dumb baby whore.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
