similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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