Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
