you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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