Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
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