I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
