We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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