just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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