i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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