ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
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We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
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So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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