Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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