Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
