got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Randomize
