just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
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