Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Pants are for mortals
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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