I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
