How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
