please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I need water and some morals
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
