Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
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