piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
