Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize