he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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