also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
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