Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
