Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
