Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Randomize
