I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
God gave him joint rollers for hands
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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