i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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