you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
