I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
