we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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