if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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