I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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