if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
