I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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