the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
